Chapter Title: Silt
I’m sorry.
I didn’t have what you needed.
What I gave was ordinary.
Brief.
The words—
they wait in silence.
Lined up like ghosts.
But they die
on the way to my mouth.
Only I’m sorry survives.
Two small words.
Tired.
Misunderstood.
Still, they walk forward.
I’m sorry I couldn’t hold you.
That I blurred in your eyes—
like newsprint left out in the rain.
I’m sorry what I clutched so tight
was never mine.
That I wore a face
not my own.
I’m sorry for the years of fumbling,
for the anger that sprouted
where love should have grown.
For my blindness—
and the weight it put on you.
I’m sorry I linger,
tracing the outline of us
as if the past
could still be persuaded.
Knowing doesn’t ease it.
I only learn
to live beside the ache.
I’m sorry—
not for mercy,
but because you were meant for sun,
and I gave you rain.
I’m sorry I never said it
when you needed it most.
Too busy drowning
in my own not-enough.
BB Grey--musings 
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